It’s okay to miss a day (or a few)
I once had a four-hundred-day Duolingo streak while learning Spanish, and then it broke. Poof, gone. Did I feel bad afterwards? Yes. Did I feel as if I failed? Absolutely. As a result, I also didn’t return to learning any language for a while.
The gamification of the streak in tools like Duolingo and other habit-trackers like Coach.me are great to keep you going. You’ll feel the dopamine rush of adding yet another day to your streak. Because especially after a little while, when you’ve built a large streak. You’ll feel the pressure to execute today, simply to prevent breaking what you’ve worked so hard on.
“I once had a four-hundred-day Duolingo-streak”
When you’ve missed that single day because you forgot or didn’t get to the app on time, or you simply didn’t feel up to doing it today due to mental or physical health. Then in that moment, your streak becomes your biggest enemy and the bearer of bad news, with the headline that you’ve failed.
When you force yourself into doing it for the sake of the habit-streak you’ll pour more energy into doing it than it ‘should be’. If that’s just the case for a day, don’t sweat it. But if you’re pushing for a while you’ll slowly build a negative emotion around the habit and that will make you quit eventually.
When working with new habits and implementing new ways of doing things in your life, there must be room for “pause” and a quick reflection during the days where you just don’t feel like doing it. In growing, there should also be room to grow. Instead of a cramped schedule where everything has to happen every day. It’s okay to take a breather sometimes and reflect on how you’re feeling about the changes you’re making. You can keep a journal or write little notes on your phone so you make the day-off count. Take the break as an active choice not as a victim of the clock.
“Remember, you’re never a victim of the clock”
When you start something fresh off the bat, it’s important to write down clear sentences about the “why” and quantifiable “what” of your goals. Along the journey of change, you can get easily distracted by self-doubt or insecurities. To keep yourself motivated, you can take a look back at those notes and give yourself those reminders of why you started it in the first place. It makes you more prone to do those bloody pushups or learn that complex sentence of Chinese again.
For me, losing the language streak was also an eye-opener. What did I do eventually that got me back on track? I looked back at the days I’ve learned, and I discovered that I wanted to learn a different language all along. So I went with learning Chinese instead. I wanted to do what made me happier in the long run instead of forcing myself to do something I didn’t enjoy every day.
When you’re working on a new challenge, you’re bound to feel more motivated when starting fresh, eager to learn. But what happens if I miss a day of my streak? Well, it’s simple. I choose to just ‘check-in’ and continue the next day, or the day after that. Because if I’ll force myself into learning Chinese every day, I will eventually get tired of it, break the streak and quit again.
“It’s okay to miss a day — as long as it’s your active choice”
So in the end, I made several changes to my journey. I stopped, I continued, and struggled along the way to self-improvement. It’s supposed to be, because how can one grow without growing pains? Be kind to yourself when you work towards your goals and give yourself that extra pat on the shoulder. Even though a little push is necessary to take the leap, to keep making progress, always remind yourself that there’s room for high waves of motivation and the slow ebb of being tired at times.
Just keep going.
